The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
