hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
