He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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