Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
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