That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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