Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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