Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize