Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
