is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
