perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
