Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
