Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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