I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
