dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
