2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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