Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I'm bleeding and have questions
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
