Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Success! We fucked roommates!
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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