I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
