Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
