I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
