Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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