I'm going to jail i love you
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize
