Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
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