He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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