bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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