hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
