you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
