Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
