Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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