I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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