I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
They are going to name an STD after you.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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