i'm lost and i look like a hooker
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
