i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
