you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
