So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
