If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
