Got a toothbrush?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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