apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
