Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
