Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
