She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
being pregnant is like rehab
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
