1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
either way he was missing a nipple.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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