That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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