Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
