nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
