Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
