i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
