hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
