NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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