the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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