I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
